Nineteen
by imaythrowuponya
Summary: Lydia turns the corner looking gorgeous and exactly the same and that's all it takes. Allison is nineteen years old again and head over heals in love for the first time in her life.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own these characters. Nothing but the story is mine.  
**Note: **The song Nineteen by Tegan and Sara used as inspiration.

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This can't be happening.

Allison stands frozen in aisles eight; the jar of tomato sauce in her hand forgotten. Her whole body is pulled taunt, every nerve tensed.

The voice filtering from a few aisles over is exactly how she remembers, the same fond annoyance that used to make Allison hide a smile behind her hand. There was nothing more adorable than Lydia Martin trying for haughty and missing the mark completely. It's amazing that even after five years Allison can still pick out her voice in crowded grocery store over babies crying and bickering couples.

"No I'm not…Stiles, stop talking." Lydia snaps then sighs, exasperated and fond all at once. When there's no audible reply Allison assumes she's talking on a cell phone. "I'm not even supposed to be here. My flight got laid over and the next one out isn't until tomorrow morning."

She is close enough now that Allison can hear the clack of her heals. The initial flight response is strong. Her brain is practically screaming for her to get the hell out of there but something, shock maybe, keeps her rooted to the spot. The old woman behind her clears her throat angrily because Allison's cart is blocking the whole pasta section. She barely notices over the pounding of her own heart.

"Yes I kn…why have you been talking to my mother?" Another put upon sigh and Allison can see Lydia as clear as if she was standing right in front of her. Lips pursed, eyes rolling up to the ceiling, hand on her hips. It makes Allison's heart ache like no time has past at all. She made the decision so long ago and it was a good one, she sure of it…

Lydia turns the corner looking gorgeous and exactly the same and that's all it takes. Allison is nineteen years old again and head over heals in love for the first time in her life. Memories long ago repressed and forgotten resurface. The feel of soft pale skin under her fingers, her lips, her tongue. Biting those perfectly round lips and hearing the answering gasp. Sitting on the sofa, head in Lydia's lap, feeling sure fingers comb through her hair. Waking up to those piercing green eyes, heavy lidded with sleep.

And now those same eyes stare back at her, wide with surprise. Lydia blinks and it's gone, a shutter falls over her face making it cool and blank. It kills Allison to see that face used around her, because of her.

"Stiles I'm going to have to call you back." Lydia says and the hand clutching her phone drops to her side, white knuckled.

"Allison." Lydia says and her name sounds like ice falling from cold lips.

"Hello Lydia." Allison's voice is rough and thick like she hasn't spoken in years. And she hasn't. She hasn't spoken her name since that night in September when Allison convinced herself that a long distance relationship wouldn't work and let Lydia drive to the airport alone.

"You cut your hair."

"Yeah," Allison clears her throat. "Yeah I did. Awhile ago."

_The same week you left_, Allison doesn't say. _Because I couldn't stand to look in the mirror and see the person that had you but let you go._

"It looks good." Lydia replies in the same monotone but Allison can hear the undercurrent of pain and sees the tightness around her eyes.

Suddenly it's too much. Allison's brain unsticks itself and she nearly drops the tomato sauce jar.

"Yes, um…thanks. I'm just going to…I've got to go."

Allison walks quickly past Lydia but pauses at the end of isle, turning around slowly.

"It…It was good to see you, Lyds." Allison whispers, eyes staring determinedly at the dirty linoleum floor. Then she runs.

She stops at a liquor store on the way home, picking up a bottle of Jack Daniels. The same stuff Stiles brought over the night she cut her hair. She drinks until she can remember Lydia without it being so painful.

_I've come full circle_, Allison thinks with a bitter laugh.

On the tabletop, her phone starts to vibrate.

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**Comments and Likes are much appreciated:) Thanks for reading! And a HUGE thank you to my beta reader Catie for putting up with me. You can find my on tumblr at .com or on ao3 with the same username!**


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